| So i do this to myself a lot... but this time im involving someone that im starting to care about more and more every day... now it is really tearing me up. Ok so the story is i am dating a girl that ive been working with this summer... and she is a very nice beautiful girl that i feel comfortable being myself around... and she is the same way... she does not try to do anything but be herself when we hang out... and some of you may be wondering what the problem is... well she is not a very strong christian... and from what i see of myself i am a strong christian... and even tho i do mess up my faith is very important to me in my everyday life... and being 21 now i know that there is a chance the next girl i date seriously could be my wife... and one of the characteristics in a wife im looking for is a strong christian who shares that same passion for God that i do and will help me continue to become a strong and better christian every day while i help her do the same thing... and right now the girl im with im having a hard time seeing that... but everything else i want in a wife i do see in her... it is getting harder and harder every day to not compromise on the fact that i want to date and marry a strong christian... so as we continue to date i keep finding myself pulled in two different directions and i dont know what to do.. can anyone tell me what to do?!? |
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| once again it has been a long time... im doing really good right now... how some of the same college stress factors but other then that im doing surprisingly well... great friends here help out so much... i love everyone here and everyone else as well... i hope to be on to update more soon but until then... keep trusting God for he is always there for you no matter what, he loves you enough to send his son to die on a cross for you and then raise him from the dead 3 days later |
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| Wow... so much has happened since i have last been on here... this school and me personally have gone through some really big stuggles but we have grown closer together i believe... everyday God amaizes me how smart he is... although i dont always understand it i know he is in control... the biggest component was about 3 weeks ago a couple from school was held at gun point and assaulted... they both are fine physically but it riped through this campus big time... there was and still is a lot of pain from it... a lot of questioning went on and still does... but we have all been able to turn to God and lay our burdens on him... the day after the assault happened in choir all we did was sing praise songs... and altho i had heard the song before Casting Crowns "I Will Praise You In This Storm" took on a whole new meaning and i think for the first time i actually had a realization what the words ment... a week later i had the opportunity with the Choir to travel to Inidianapolis for the National Missionary Convention... we sang during the opening service Thursday night which was awesome by itself... but walking around and talking to some of the missionaries it was amazing to hear them tell about the work they do and what the consider blessings... it took a whole new perspective for me that night when i sang... i took the set we did and instead of "performing" like my mind set usually is i was trying to incourage them and lift them up so when they left there were even more on fire to serve God back where ever it was they served... and this helped me to realize even more how good off i have it then most of the rest of the world... after the NMC was over we hit hard into CDT stuff... the past two nights have been a blast... the week leading up to it with endless rehersals and all the setup stuff going on was kinda a drag... but to be able to perform and deliver the message that we have for the people that come is an amazing opportunity... i have over the past month done a lot of seeking more then i have ever done... i know that im not finished there is still a lot to be done but i can see more and more each day how God is shaping me into the man he has always had in mind for me to be... i still fight him at times and am by no means completely focused on what im suppose to do all the time... but each day i try to get a little better at following him and doing his well then i did the day before... Thankyou for loving me Lord... i in no way deserve what you have given to me and through your help i want you to use me and make me into the man that can be the best servent for you that i can be... |
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| I cry Abba Father - I love you, Daddy Abba Father... I love you, I love you I cry Abba Father - I love you, Daddy Abba Father... I love you I love you Daddy Last night was amazing... we had an all night worship in the chapel... i didnt get there until 9:30 after my class let out and i got back from C-State... at first i was thinking oh i will just go for a while and sing a few songs then come back to my room and get to bed about 11:30 mid-nightish... well God had other plans... I was struggling with a lot of stuff when i got there... and i had the opportunity to actually get things off my chest and just worship God like we are told to... completely free of any burdon... about 1:15 we had a great time when Joel just played the drums and a majority of the people there did the Electric Slide for Jesus... Yes i did say that they did the Electric Slide for Jesus... but the opportunity to worship with my classmates until 5am when i went to bed then getting up at 9 and going back and worshipping until 11 it is so hard to describe... but one of my favorite realizations from the night didnt come during any time of singing... it actually came during the silences between song... The had the batistry filled to level of the jets so when they had them on it sounded like a little stream... about an hour into the time i was there i had the realization of how amazing that is... who could come up with the concept of sound and the movement of water making any noise?!? i know that there is no way i could ever be that smart to create that... specially out of nothing... and for about 10 min i just sat there and thought about everything... how this sometimes so simple world is actually so complex... how can we have all of these set natural laws by any other way than God? I just have been amaized the past 15-16 hours at the intelligence that it took to create the simple world we live in and how if God is that smart then he has to be smarter then me when it comes to making the right decisions in my life |
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| this is bad... really bad... it is only the middle of September and i am already slacking on doing hw... i need to get on track and get focused... i think i am just ready to go to UC so i dont care about everything else right now... but to be able to get into UC and graduate when i want to i need to be focused right now... AHHHHHH... sometimes i put way to much stress on myself... i totally dont want to become all EMO... that would suck... i have it so good... oh and i found out the meaning of life since my last post... but right now i dont have time to explain it... if you want to know what it is come talk to me about it sometime... |
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